On a More Serious Note...

I heard something a couple of weeks ago that made me very angry. It's something that I hear often, and every time I see red. A woman said that she didn't want to take her 3 year old daughter out to lunch because she believes the girl is getting fat. I hear parents lamenting the fact that their precious darlings are growing up too fast. I agree, childhood is all too brief a period of one's lifetime. The fact that these same parents can turn around and call their children fat- or lazy, stupid, even ugly!- baffles me. It's statements like this, while often not directed at the child him or herself, that let kids know they're not good enough.

Kids, especially girls, have a lot of images thrown at them from an early age. Barbies and Bratz, songs like Call Me Maybe and Give Your Heart a Break, and clothing that makes a little girl look like a grown woman. They don't need adults adding to confusion that they might have surrounding their body image. Babies shouldn't look good in skinny jeans. Even if you can make the legs lie flat on those adorable, pudgy little legs, the diaper bulge is inevitable. Toddlers are going to have a layer of baby fat on their bodies, too. It's a sign of a healthy child, for crying out loud! While I'm just not cool enough to understand animal prints, faux fur and pleather on infants, I am very comfortable saying the word Sexy has no place on a toddlers butt.

 When the people who are supposed to love them unconditionally find them lacking, how are children supposed to develop a healthy self esteem? At best one can hope for a withdrawn, insecure child. At worst? I hate to even imagine what a parent is capable of doing to a child with some regrettably timed phrases. I do know that most children will do anything they can to gain the approval of the adults in their lives and emulate them. That is a perfect recipe for creating bullies. Jennifer Livingston is a million times more eloquent than I could ever be.

Cooking with Kids

It takes a special kind of crazy to want to make something with kids. Fortunately for the Raisin, I'm just that kinda nuts. This morning Thing 1 went to school and Thing 2 had to go see the doctor, leaving Thing 3 (the Raisin) alone with Nanny Cait. We tried going outside, but after a trip to get the paper and check the mailbox, her little lips were blue and she was shivering too hard to even say yeah when I asked if she was ready to go in. (And she was dressed in tights, leggings, fleece pants, wool socks, boots, snow pants, a turtleneck onesie, a sweater, a jacket, mittens and a hat. Poor  kid looked like a pink starfish!)

So in we went, warmed up with a couple of stories under a blanket and then the wiggles struck. The Raisin is not the world's most snuggley child. She's a girl of action, and today she came up with her own plan. Knowing her twin was at the doctor, she told me, "Doodle 'prise make." This, for those of you not fluent in toddler, meant that she wanted to make a surprise for the Doodle. The smile on that girl's face when I asked if she wanted to bake cookies was amazing.

I find it's easiest to bake with kids if everything is pre-measured and set up. I put flour, sugars, butter, etc. in bowls, pulled out the Kitchen-Aid and brought a chair over to the counter. The Raisin asked about each individual ingredient. I let her touch a bit of flour and sugar so she could feel the difference, then taste a grain of sugar and a grain of salt. We talked about safety and why it's important to always bake with a big person- at least until you're old enough to be a big person. Lectures over, we began pouring the ingredients one by one into the mixer. The Raisin is a very careful girl and managed almost everything without spilling. The vanilla extract dripped a bit and I was dusted with a cloud of flour when she turned the mixer on high right after adding 2 cups to the bowl, but other than that there were no casualties.

The tough part, but also an awesome teaching opportunity, comes during the actual baking. I won't let the girls eat the raw cookie dough because of the eggs, so patience plays a HUGE part in this project. Not to mention the fact that the cookies are too hot to eat when they first come out of the oven. The Raisin handled this like a pro. I gave her the timer and sent her into the playroom with the instructions to come and let me know when it dinged. Exactly 10 minutes later she danced her way back into the kitchen to let me know I should take the cookies out. I told her to pick a really long song to sing and then the cookies would be cool enough to taste, so she sat down by my feet and sang Baby Beluga all the way through. Didn't stop once to ask for a cookie! When she was done, I picked her up and let her choose which one she wanted. And what did she do? She picked up a cookie, kissed me on the cheek and asked, "Cait want cookie yes peas?" Nanny Cait was proud!

What is Democracy?

I know some of you have tried to explain today's events to kids. At lunch the Ladybug's mom and dad left to vote and she asked me where they were going. I tried my best to explain, and I even used props.

I told LB that Mama and Dada were going to the school by the little church so they could vote.

LB: What's vote?

Cait: It's when you pick something. Like when you and the sisters all tell me what song you want to hear and then we listen to the one that most of you want to hear.

LB: Oh, I like that. But only when you play my song.

Cait: Well, big people like voting when the person we want to be president wins.

LB: What's president?

Cait: Right now it's Barack Obama. You remember who he is, right?

LB: From the book?

Cait: That's right, from the book (we have a copy of the book that Barack Obama wrote for his daughters.) If he wins, then he gets to be president for 4 more years, but another man, Mitt Romney, wants to be president, too. So they're asking all of the big people all over the country to help pick who gets to win.

LB: Mitt is like mitten.

Cait: Yes, it is. Do you know what the country is?

LB: Yes.

Cait: Really?

LB: No.

At this point I pulled out a handy dandy State Quarters map that just happened to be on the kitchen table.

Cait: This is the country that we live in. It's called the United States of America. There are 50 states all together.

LB: Is that a lot?

Cait: Does it look like a lot?

LB: Yes.

Cait: Do you know which state we live in?

LB: Yes.

Cait: Really?

LB: Vermont.

Cait: Good girl. Vermont is all the way up here. Now, each state gets to pick one person to be in charge. That person is called the governor. Right now our governor is Peter Shumlin.

LB: I know.

Cait: Really?

LB: No. I love you, Cait.

Cait: I love you, too. Now, one person gets to be in charge of all of the states. That person is the president.

LB: Like Mama and Dada and Cait.

Cait: Um, sure. Now, when we vote today, everyone from every state gets to say who they want to be president. That's what voting is. Do you remember the two people who want to be president?

LB: Barack Obama from the book and Mitten from the hat.

Cait: Close enough.

Crime and Punishment

Today was a challenging day. I took Thing 1 and Thing 2 outside in the hopes of going for a walk this morning. We made it to the driveway that leads up to a nice, wooded path by the neighbor's house when suddenly Thing 1 and Thing 2 developed acute cases of no-skeleton-itis. It's a horrible disease that often strikes without warning and causes a child's skeleton to disappear instantaneously. It's occasionally accompanied by tears and/or shouting. Usually only if there are witnesses (which there were, so tears AND shouting occurred.) I had to pick up both girls and carry them back to the driveway, where I plopped them down (they're heavy!) and proceeded to retrieve the mail and newspaper.

After this debacle, I decided that maybe an outdoor craft would be fun. All 3 girls love when birds and squirrels stop by the bird feeders, so we filled the 2 hanging feeders and then I looked up ideas for homemade feeders. Here's an easy one: You'll need the cardboard from a roll of toilet paper, peanut butter, bird seed, a cookie sheet, and something to spread the peanut butter with. Oh, and infinite patience and the desire to say, "That's not for eating." about 50 times per minute. Put a layer of bird seed on a cookie sheet. Tell the child to stop putting seeds in his/her mouth. Spread peanut butter on the outside of a TP roll and remind the child that seeds are for birds, not people. Hand the roll to the child, once again stating that the seeds are not for people, and show him/her how to roll it across the cookie sheet so that seeds are pressed into the peanut butter. Take a deep breath and calmly repeat that seeds are for the birds, not people and this time add that the peanut butter is also a special treat for the birds even though it is usually a people food. Pry the roll out of the child's hand taking care to avoid his/her snapping jaws as he/she tries for one more bite of that birdseed and peanut butter combo. Simply slide the roll onto a tree or bush branch and birds will have a tasty treat. Or in our case, squirrels will grab the stupid things, drop them on the lawn, and when you go out for an afternoon walk, you'll once again have to remind the child to leave the roll alone for the love of all things good and pretty in this world because it's a treat for the stupid birds and if the kid eats all of the bird treats then they'll have no food and be very hungry and sad and do you really want to make the birds sad, kid? DO YOU?

I will not be doing this craft again.

At lunch, Thing 1 ate everything on her plate and got some cranberry orange muffin for dessert. Thing 2 ate some of her fruit (I found most of it smushed into her booster seat when I picked her up after calling it quits) and part of a baby carrot. She refused to eat her egg salad sandwich. The one thing she asked me to make for lunch. Whatever, she didn't get dessert, I had to dig part of the carrot out of her mouth because she refused to swallow a bite after chewing on it for 10 minutes, she bit my finger and spit on me, and then she told me all the way up to nap that she was hungry for muffin. Blah. She got put to bed and the wee beasties slept for 2.5 hours. That was long enough for me to roast butternut squash, onion and garlic for a yummy pizza (cut those 3 things up, toss with olive oil, salt and pepper and roast at 375 for about an hour. Sprinkle with fresh rosemary when they come out of the oven. Roll out your pizza dough, spread out the roast veg, crumble goat cheese on top and bake at 375 for about 30 minutes.)

When the Things woke up from their naps, I was feeling all kinds of accomplished and optimistic. I'd made the pizza, I folded 3 loads of laundry, I tidied the play room, I had snacks made, dishes washed and put away, activities set, and everything laid out for another walk. Thing 1 cried when she saw it was me and not Dada. Thing 2 yelled at her for crying and then started herself because she suddenly only wanted her sister, Thing 3. Thing 1 then forgot about Dada, wanted Thing 3 and wanted Thing 2 to stop. Thing 2 then wanted Dada. I told them we could get ready to go downstairs together or I could give their snacks to the mouse. (Oh yeah, there's a mouse in the kitchen that's been popping in and out of the baseboards all day. One of the cats is going nutso over it, the other one is insane and they both drove me to swearing creatively while the Things were napping.) Anyhow, that got them to focus on important things, like getting out of cribs and getting down the stairs. Snack was eaten and we headed outside to try a walk again. See report of boneless children above. We came home. We played with the Aquadoodle mat, read some books, played some matching games, played find-the-letter-or-number on the foam floor mat, and I left them to start "cooking" dinner in their kitchen while I made dinner in the real kitchen.

Today was french toast Friday. French toast takes a little concentration and a bit of time. Big mistake on my part. While I was toasting that egg infused bread to perfection, dishing out my homemade apple butter, slicing avocado and mango, and making everyone's plate look nice, the Things were playing how-many-wooden-cake-decoration-circles-can-we-fit-into-our-mouths-at-once-and-still-drink-water. The answer? All of them, of course. I think each Thing had about 10 quarter sized wooden discs in her mouth when I came in. They weren't in danger of choking, but they were giggling and spewing water all over the place. I hate to say it, but the sounds of joy should have tipped me off to something bad going down in the playroom...

I did not yell. I did not even speak. I just kind of went into auto pilot mode, put the Things on the couch and started cleaning up. I washed off the saliva covered discs, I dried off the rest of the cake set and put it back into the now-chaotic kitchen. I wiped blobs of water and drool from the floor, table, mat, kitchen, chairs and even a wall. I then took a chair, sat in front of the Things and asked them simply, "Why?" They didn't answer, but just repeated Why each time I asked. Frustrated beyond reason, I decided to try something new. I grabbed the iPad, pulled up Bach's Air on the G String and played it 3 times through. They were lulled into a stupor by that point, but Mama and Thing 3 still weren't home. I put on Pachebel's Canon in D and we made it through twice before they made it back. Then dinner, bed and my day was over.

As far as punishments go, I'm not sure this one fit the crime, but at least I was calmer by the end of it and the girls seemed to enjoy the music.

Sharing

Sharing is a good thing. As a nanny I encourage the kids to share their toys, bites of snack, snuggle space during story time, etc. It's not always an easy concept for a toddler, but I think they've been doing really well.

Last night I went to bed feeling fine, a bit tired, but that's nothing new. This morning I had a cold. I felt like I had stepped outside hungover, been hit by a bus, and was lying in a gutter getting rained on. It was a beautiful and sunny day, which only made me feel worse. I walked into work fearing what anyone who has ever been in a room with 3 two year-olds fears: cacophony.

Sure enough, chaos reigned. Dad was trying to play songs for them on the guitar while they clambered around trying to "help." They were all singing songs, and while they were getting most of the words and notes right, they weren't exactly all singing the same songs. Baby Beluga, Kumbaya and Row Row Row Your Boat don't exactly make for the best mash-up in the history of music.

When a moment of calm finally settled, I said my hellos and gave hugs. Ladybug wanted me to give her a kiss hello, but I told her that I couldn't today. She was a little disappointed, but I explained that I'd gotten her cold, and that I didn't want to give her any more icky germs. At this, her face lit up and she said proudly, "I shared my cold! That's nice. Sharing is caring!"

It's nice to know some of my lessons sink in...