I'm a lot of things. I'm a nurse, a nanny, a friend. I'm a sister, a granddaughter, a niece, a cousin and a daughter. I'm opinionated, stubborn, nerdy, outspoken, clumsy, forgetful, and optimistic. Lately I'm stressed, sad, withdrawn, insecure, and filled with doubt. I hate who I'm becoming, and I don't know what to do to stop it.
I know that I need to do something, change something about the situation I'm in. I've been living in the same place for about 15 months now and I have very few friends. I rarely go out in the evenings. The fact that I work until 7:30 most evenings has a lot to do with this, coupled with the fact that I don't know who I'd go out with. I have one day off each week, and these days are primarily spent alone. I go for hikes, go to movies, go to coffee shops and sit alone.
I hate this. I hate being alone, I miss having people to talk to. I'm in a rut that I need to get out of, and I don't know how to do it. But I know that I'm going to get myself out of this. I'm going to move past this rut, be happy again, get my life back.